Let’s talk about the dumb stuff that probably didn’t make it into the mainstream news.

Let’s start with this. Why not start a day of stupid stories with the mumbling of a stupid man:

What did he say?

 

Yeah, Why Not

There’s a cold snap back east. Sothern Florida released a warning today. Not of the cold or frost or snow. But of falling iguanas. That’s right, lizards are falling

It is going to reach a temperature of 40 degrees. Iguanas are cold-blooded so their body temperature lowers with the weather and slows their metabolism. When it gets too cold, they fall asleep or hibernate. Since iguanas live in trees, gravity takes over when the fall asleep and they fall on people. Not only do they fall on people, they are really pissed off when they wake up.

I have no commentary about this. It’s not even surprising the way the world is now.

 

Could He Kiss More Ass?

According to the Daily Wire:

“The first rule of fight club is you don’t talk about fight club.” But apparently, the first rule in communist China is that the cops always win. 

At least that’s the message being sent in the edited version of the cult classic 1999 film “Fight Club” starring Brad Pitt and Edward Norton. Viewers began noticing the change on the edited version posted to China’s streaming platform Tencent Video, NBC News reported. In the original version, “Fight Club” ends with massive explosions to solidify the overall anarchistic narrative. 

However, the censored version available in China cuts off before the bombs go off because police have ruined Norton’s plan. Instead, the screen fades to black and includes the text, “The police rapidly figured out the whole plan and arrested all criminals, successfully preventing the bomb from exploding.” 

It is hysterical. The text just comes out of nowhere, completely cutting off the end of the movie. That’s because the Chinese authorities do not tolerate crime and can never be fooled. Apparently, Edward Norton was put in an insane asylum and grew to appreciate the government.

Now, we know China does this and Hollywood is OK with it. But do they really need to kiss China’s ass about censoring the ending? Apparently so.

The author of the book, Chuck Palahniuk, tweeted:

“Have You Seen This Sh**? This is SUPER wonderful! Everyone gets a happy ending in China!”

He then commented on how the United States has banned his book within several institutions so China changing the ending is no big deal. That’s right, the United States is worse than China. Then he named who banned his book: the Texas prison systems and a bunch of private schools.

You can’t make this crap up. Looking at the movie or book, does it sound like it should be reading for prisoners and children?

The Hollywood Reporter also commented positively on the change:

“The irony is that the way the Chinese have changed it is they’ve aligned the ending almost exactly with the ending of the book, as opposed to Fincher’s ending, which was the more spectacular visual ending. So in a way, the Chinese brought the movie back to the book a little bit.”

I know everyone wants to make money and China is a huge market, but come on. Censorship is bad, no matter who does it. Yeah, prisoners are going to have to get out of jail to read it in Texas and kids need to grow up before they read it. But this does not make the United States as bad as China.

https://www.dailywire.com/news/fight-club-author-approves-of-chinas-censored-movie-ending-says-this-is-super-wonderful

 

Best Job For a Woman…

Amy Schneider, who had a 40-game winning streak on Jeopardy finally lost. She racked up $1,382,800 and became the winningest woman in Jeopardy history. I think she ended up as the third biggest winner ever.

There’s just one problem. Amy is a biological man. This is just further evidence that the best woman in competition are men. Look at this guy at the University of Pennsylvania who, after 20 years, decided to be a woman and is now kicking the crap out of all the women while smashing all the women’s records in swimming. Or the two boys in a Connecticut high school that broke all the girls records in the 100 and 200 meters. Or the MMA fighter, Fallon Fox, who fought a woman in the ring and broke her skull.

Tell you what, I did not think it was going to be so easy to bring back the patriarchy.

https://www.dailywire.com/news/trans-jeopardy-contestant-amy-schneider-ends-winning-streak-on-this-question

 

What Do You Expect for $2000

According to the Daily Wire:

This week, Barbara Ferrer, the Los Angeles County Public Health Director, announced that all attendees for Super Bowl LVI, to be held at SoFi stadium, will be given KN95 masks and must wear masks unless they are eating or drinking.

Ferrer also noted that fans will be consistently reminded to wear their masks.

“Fans heading to the NFL Experience at the LA Convention Center, the NFL’s ‘interactive football theme park’ launching the week ahead of the February 13 Super Bowl, will receive free take-home test kits ‘with messaging to test before the big game,’ said Ferrer,” CNN reported, adding, “She said the NFL anticipates distributing over 60,000 test kits. The county will set up vaccination sites at the NFL Experience and anyone receiving first, second, or a booster dose of vaccine will be given free entry to the event.”

You know, for $2000 a ticket, you’d think you’d get a free beer or nachos or something. Not free COVID tests and KN95 masks (which really suck, by the way).

That’s another thing, have you ever seen Barbara Ferrer? She looks like Beetlejuice with the body of Jack Skellington. That’s the L.A. County Health Director. To trust a broad who looks like she died seven years ago on health advice is insane.

I have always thought one had to be nuts to pay that much money for a seat at the Super Bowl. The views are better on television, the food is better at home, the booze is cheaper at home and you can turn to the Puppy Bowl during the half time show. If you can afford $2000 a ticket, you can afford a 90″ television and a case of Bud. You’ll have a far better time.

https://www.dailywire.com/news/super-bowl-attendees-will-be-forced-to-wear-masks-unless-eating-or-drinking

 

Guess Who They Picked

Need more proof that pot and booze can make you stupid? Let’s talk about Neil Young.

Young, whose last hit was about 300 years ago, didn’t like what Joe Rogan was saying about the China virus. And that’s not a shock, he’s a rich man from Canada so he probably doesn’t have to follow any of the draconian rules Canada has imposed.

So Young released an open letter to his management team and record label, saying:

“Please act on this immediately today and keep me informed of the time schedule.

“I want you to let Spotify know immediately TODAY that I want all my music off their platform. They can have [Joe] Rogan or Young. Not both.”

This is a risky move for Young. It was reported that 65% of his streaming income came from Spotify. That’s high. For him, not for Spotify. They pain Joe Rogan about $100 million and he has 11 million subscribers, by far the most on Spotify. Joe Rogan’s podcast has more viewers than CNN and MSNBC combined. As Joe Biden would say, not hyperbole.

Needless to say, Young sobered up and pulled his open letter but not before Spotify responded:

“Spotify Technology SA is in the process of removing Neil Young’s music, according to people familiar with the matter, as the folk-rock star isn’t wavering in his objections to Joe Rogan’s podcast.”

Don’t panic, all you 55-year-old folk music fans. He’ll be back on. But I love this.

When the rubber hits the road, even Leftist organizations will piss on other Leftists to keep the money coming in. And where is the money coming from now? Conservatives or very moderate liberals (as Joe Rogan is). Who is the top cable news outlet? Fox News. Who has the highest rated podcast? Joe Rogan. Who has the highest rated late night comedy show? Greg Gutfeld on Fox News. Yeah, he’s beating out Colbert, Fallon and Kimmel. In the last election, who had the highest overall ratings? Louder with Crowder from Blaze TV.

You know why this is happening? Conservative media is fun, interesting, risky and informative. This is a start how conservatism takes back the culture.

https://www.dailywire.com/news/they-can-have-rogan-or-young-not-both-neil-young-issues-spotify-an-ultimatum-threatens-pulling-his-music
https://www.dailywire.com/news/just-in-spotify-to-pull-neil-young-music-after-ultimatum-letter-demanding-rogan-be-removed

 

Walt Is Turning Over in his Grave

Disney is facing problems.

Peter Dinklage, who played the dwarf, Tyrion Lannister, on Game of Thrones, is pissed. Notice how I called him a dwarf? That’s because he played a dwarf on the show. He was referred to as a dwarf.

So what is he pissed about? Disney is releasing a modern day Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. He said:

“Literally no offense to anyone, but I was a little taken aback when they were very proud to cast a Latina actress as Snow White — but you’re still telling the story of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Take a step back and look at what you’re doing there. It makes no sense to me. You’re progressive in one way, but then you’re still making that f***ing backward story about seven dwarfs living in a cave together? What the f*** are you doing, man? Have I done nothing to advance the cause from my soapbox? I guess I’m not loud enough.”

Maybe he needs two soapboxes to be heard.

A few things here:

• Snow White and the Seven Dwarves was written by the Brother Grimm in 1812. It’s a story. Making it woke will change the story and it will no longer be Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.
• Peter Dinklage made millions not because he is a great actor, which he is, but because he’s a dwarf who can act!
• Being a dwarf isn’t really a disability. They are typically just short.

By the way, you aren’t allowed to say dwarf or midget anymore, which is weird. They are actually descriptors. Dwarves have adult size appendages but short stature. A midget is one short of stature but their body parts are proportional. You know where I learned that? In high school while reading the Brothers Grimm version of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.

Anyway, Disney had a response to this. They said:

“To avoid reinforcing stereotypes from the original animated film, we are taking a different approach with these seven characters and have been consulting with members of the dwarfism community. We look forward to sharing more as the film heads into production after a lengthy development period.”

I love when the woke beats on the woke. Don’t forget Disney put warning tags on Peter Pan, Dumbo, The Aristocrats, The Jungle Book and The Swiss Family Robinson.

So, congratulations to Peter Dinklage for making sure that other little people can’t get jobs after he made millions of dollars simply because he’s a little person.

https://www.dailywire.com/news/fing-backward-story-peter-dinklage-slams-disney-for-attempting-snow-white-and-the-seven-dwarfs-remake
https://www.dailywire.com/news/disney-responds-to-dinklages-criticism-of-snow-white-remake
https://nypost.com/2022/01/26/why-minnie-mouse-is-ditching-her-iconic-red-dress-for-2022/

 

Well, Duh!

You know the typical description of the comic book reader and collector? It is a straight man, 25-40 years old, usually a little overweight because of all the Hot Pockets he eats. They are usually bitter because they can’t get a date so they settle with a little D&D on a Saturday night with the other dateless comic book collectors.

You know what these guys don’t read? Comics about a gay Superman who’s is fighting climate change.

That’s what DC Comics is finding.

They released a comic about the bi-sexual son of Superman who gets in a relationship with some Asian guy while he is fighting climate change. I’m not kidding. I’m sure you heard me talk about this last summer.

Guess what? No one bought it. The comic hasn’t cracked the top 50 in units sold of comic books since it was released in November. Many comic “experts” are saying this might be the end of Superman. DCs top comics are all Batman and people might have a hard time embracing a character that takes it in the butt.

Wokeness may have killed what only kryptonite could kill.

https://www.dailywire.com/news/dc-made-superman-gay-climate-change-activist-readers-arent-buying-it

 

Why Would She Do This?

You can’t make this shit up.

It was reported in the news last week that a truck with a bunch of lab monkeys crashed on a freeway in Montour County, Pennsylvania. Three monkeys dies. I would say this is a tragedy but I have a feeling the fate of these monkeys was pretty much sealed.

The story is there was this woman who wanted to help out. Michele Fallon decided to get out of her car and walk up to the truck. She saw the boxes on the truck. The boxes had holes, because the monkeys needed to breathe, and she saw fur. So she thought they were cats.

Fallon said:

“So I go over to check the cats out, and I’m sticking my finger in because I see the fur. Then I hear this weird grunting noise and it pops up, and I’m getting really close to it and I hear a monkey doing a hissing noise. I backed away and I told the guy that they were not cats, they were monkeys.”

Now, Fallon has reported and is being treated for some illness she might have received from the monkeys. According to Newsweek:

Fallon became concerned because she has a cut on her hand and began experiencing pink eye symptoms, so she went to the emergency room at a local hospital, she told local news station WBRE-TV. She is now taking preventative medicine for about two weeks and received her first dose of the rabies vaccine.

There are two takeaways here:

• Is it surprising that a world pandemic started? These guys are transporting diseased monkeys in wood crates in a 1985 Mack truck. Maybe I’m off here, but I think, after the last two years of pandemic, maybe there should be a little more regulation on transporting diseased monkeys.
• If you want to help with an accident that is carrying a truckload of animals in sealed crates, don’t stick your finger in the crate, even if it is a cat. They probably have those cats in crates with only air holes for a reason. I mean, if these were good cats, they’d probably be in the cab with the driver. Or better yet, the doctor doing the experiments himself would probably drive the cat in his Ford Focus.

https://www.newsweek.com/woman-experiencing-symptoms-after-face-face-encounter-lab-monkey-involved-crash-1672790

 

Now That’s Creepy

According to the New York Post:

A porn star has shared the “cringe” message sent to her by her uncle after he discovered what she did for a living.

The XXX actress, who works under the stage name Karlie Brooks, shared a screengrab of the stomach-churning text in a TikTok video last week.

OK, you might think this is a cringe-worthy event because the uncle is going to tell the rest of the family that the daughter has got her cooch on camera for strange men to see but no. That’s not it.

Her uncle sent her a text:

Ugh! Christmas dinner is going to be awkward. I have a feeling some of the drooling being done won’t be for the cranberry sauce.

https://nypost.com/2022/01/27/onlyfans-star-reveals-mortifying-text-from-her-uncle-after-he-found-her-page/

 

What About the Criminals

 

https://nypost.com/2022/01/27/navy-seals-to-stop-using-washington-state-parks-after-residents-voice-fears-of-seeing-armed-men/